It's midnight and I'm eating chocolate chip cookies from Trader Joes. Have you had these? I buy them everytime I go..I don't know what kind of amazing-ness they're putting in these, but holy canoli. Buy them! So, my head is so full of things I always intend to blog about. How in the world do people keep up with these things? I can spend 9,000 hours on facebook but I can't for the life of me sit down to write a blog. Maybe if I was sponsored...hey, not a bad idea. Like the Pioneer Woman? Yes? However, I can't cook that great and my photography isn't about to win any awards. Let's scratch that idea. Let's talk about how late I am on discovering Pandora. Um, hello. I've had it on the David Gray station non-stop. Before I had kids I loved diving into and discovering new music. I seemed to specialize in Indie stuff and highly prided myself on finding someone new before anyone else did...You can all thank me for Ryan Adams, Ray Lamontagne, Damien Rice and Missy Higgins when you see me next. These tunes really take me back. If you asked the husband what my musical taste is like..he would mutter something about depression and suicide.
Wow. Now that was a different life. Do you ever feel like you've lived 500 different lives? I suppose by 30, sometimes I feel like I've accomplished so much, and yet so little at the same time. It's all in perspective though I suppose. Gosh I had some fun. I had some crazy amazing fun times and made friends that turned into family. This David Gray stations reminds me of the summer that my friend Mandy and I planned a fairly last minute trip to Boston to see him in concert (because um, when you're single for some reason, money seemed to grow on trees!) Our trip turned into an East Coast adventure with 2 Okie girls in a rental car trekking up and down the East Coast making friends with any and every stranger along the way. We had a fab time and my favorite part was visiting Marthas Vineyard...where I will, mark my words, have a house someday. Just like the Kennedys. I'll wear nautical stripes and go crabbing everyday...and of course finish off the evening with what else...a Cape Cod of course! Oh my dreams............
These days my tunes consist of the Barney Song and anything that plays in a Disney movie. My sweet angel girl has been into singing Jesus Loves Me and Twinkle Twinkle at the top of her lungs lately. I'll take that anyday. I love how my life has evolved. It's something beautiful I tell ya. While I was having all of that fun, I knew deep in my soul what I craved and I prayed, I prayed hard for it almost every night. I journaled about it. I prayed for God to send me a husband and a family. This is another reason I know God is real. He sent me Erik-and if you know us, we are the perfect balance. A match that could ONLY have been made in heaven. Sigh.....I kissed a lot of frogs to get this prince people. Yuck.
I always knew I was meant to be a mom and a wife. I didn't maybe realize that I knew this until college. At dress up day in elementary school on the "dress what you want to be like day" I always defaulted to "teacher" and wore fake glasses, a bun and carried an apple. My friends were doing it too so yeah, teacher would work for me too. In college I didn't pick a major until my FIFTH year people. No that wasn't a typo, I was on the 5 year plan! (and I'm pretty sure if I'd had many friends left at OSU by the end of this said 5th year, i'd have stayed 6. I'm lying. I'd still be there if possible.) I majored in PR because I literally asked my advisor.."well, I'll take whatever requires the least amount of math". You see, I was born without the portion of my brain that computes numbers. I swear it. I can barely add. However I'm a gud spellur. My point of this all over the place post is that I knew that when I grew up I always wanted to be a mom. God says it's a womans highest calling in life and I believe that firmly. With Erik out of work I've really felt that perhaps it's time to start looking for a job. Don't worry, I haven't even made a resume, I'm only half way serious. I'm only thinking about this out of fear though, and the Bible says that fear is a liar. One of our favorite pastors says "If your wife is having to work, your standard of living is too high"....as in, put your kids first and don't live for your own selfish desires. I know the scenario can obviously be adjusted in different situations like single moms, dads out of work, etc... It's always been a good saying to have in my head in times like these though. God always has provided far beyond my needs throughout my entire life. Always. Why in the world out of fear would I doubt him now?
So...um, is this how you blog?
So.......is this how you blog?

If God, like a father, denies us what we want now. it is in order to give us some far better thing later on. The will of God, we rest assured, is invariably a better thing - unknown